2008 Woodie Awards
Real friends, real space
By: Jess Hylton
Issue date: 3/28/08 Section: Forum
It has always fascinated me how feelings change over time. One minute you might be laughing with a person, and the next you may hate them ("Hate" is strong word, so let's say "strongly dislike" instead).
Or perhaps you believe you are "in love" with a person, or at least like them very much, and a few months or a few years later you're no longer speaking.
There are those select few people who you know will be in your life forever. Likewise, there are what I call "drifters." They come into your life and make a substantial impact, and then just as quickly as they came into your life they leave it.
Whenever I am with a person I find myself thinking about these things. I am not trying to be pessimistic, just curious.
In the midst of hanging out, telling a joke, cuddling and what have you, I wonder to myself: how long will this last? What day, if any, will be the last day we feel this way?
Is this the last time we will spend time together? The last time we speak? Not only is there the question of how long it will last, but also with whom will it last?
The logical explanation, and the truthful one, is that events take place over time which cause distance between people (physically or emotionally). As time goes by people lose contact, they forget to call, they meet new people, they move away, etc.
These are easy answers. However, those answers alone do not, to me, satisfy the question.
I suppose what I wonder is why time and distance are enough to sever relationships.
In this case by relationships I mean friendships, for the most part, though it could also apply to some "romantic" relationships.
I believe that while outside factors play a part in pulling people apart, the people involved are the primary cause.
There are many ways now to communicate with people. Therefore it almost takes effort to lose communication with an individual.
Many times, at least from my experience, distance is perpetuated due to lack of initiative. I have often put off calling a friend or sending them a letter because I find something "more important" to do.
Or perhaps you believe you are "in love" with a person, or at least like them very much, and a few months or a few years later you're no longer speaking.
There are those select few people who you know will be in your life forever. Likewise, there are what I call "drifters." They come into your life and make a substantial impact, and then just as quickly as they came into your life they leave it.
Whenever I am with a person I find myself thinking about these things. I am not trying to be pessimistic, just curious.
In the midst of hanging out, telling a joke, cuddling and what have you, I wonder to myself: how long will this last? What day, if any, will be the last day we feel this way?
Is this the last time we will spend time together? The last time we speak? Not only is there the question of how long it will last, but also with whom will it last?
The logical explanation, and the truthful one, is that events take place over time which cause distance between people (physically or emotionally). As time goes by people lose contact, they forget to call, they meet new people, they move away, etc.
These are easy answers. However, those answers alone do not, to me, satisfy the question.
I suppose what I wonder is why time and distance are enough to sever relationships.
In this case by relationships I mean friendships, for the most part, though it could also apply to some "romantic" relationships.
I believe that while outside factors play a part in pulling people apart, the people involved are the primary cause.
There are many ways now to communicate with people. Therefore it almost takes effort to lose communication with an individual.
Many times, at least from my experience, distance is perpetuated due to lack of initiative. I have often put off calling a friend or sending them a letter because I find something "more important" to do.
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